Here is one of Tina Greenbaum’s favorite sets of questions whenever she speaks to an audience as a psychotherapist and conflict resolution expert:
“How many of you have spent years and years and years getting your education?”
And hands go up.
“And then how many of you have spent years and years taking this education and strategizing how to take it into the world?”
Hands up again.
“How many of you have spent years and years, an equal amount learning about yourself and kind of mastering these interpersonal skills?”
Hands down.
“And yet this drives the train,” Tina told host Amy Boyle in the latest episode of the Speaking of Phenomenal podcast. “Who we are, how we operate, how we think, how we communicate with one another has everything to do with the level of success that we have or don't have.”
Tina learned the importance of self-knowledge and -mastery after over 41 years of helping people resolve conflicts as a management consultant, psychotherapist and leadership development specialist.
Her passion for helping people come to terms with themselves and others led her to Tina to create the “Mastery Under Pressure” program, through which she taught people to be the protagonists of their actions and decisions. “It's great that you could tell me all about your mother, your father, your sister, your brother,” she would say to the participants. “But if you're not changing, what do we need to actually change?”
She believes that, instead of being reactive, we all should stop, reframe the situation and choose how we want to act. She eventually took this idea to the business world. Today, considering how diverse teams tend to become, she reminds us how important it is to learn how to talk to each other. Some useful questions: “How do I operate within me? What are the skills that I need to be able to get my point across? When do I know just when to keep my mouth shut?”
Among other tips, Tina talked about one specific trait that can help us survive in this world: flexibility. For her, if our expectations are too distant from our reality, we can only find disappointment.
She encourages us to ask ourselves, whenever we face a tough situation, “What's in my control? What's out of my control?” And if we cannot control the external, let’s focus on what’s inside.
Now, be honest. If Tina asked you how many years you spent learning about yourself, what would you say?
And if you’re feeling curious but don’t know where to begin, Tina’s got you covered! Book a free 30-minute consultation with Tina and dive in deeper.
Carolina Baldin is a freelance journalist from Brazil. Having worked in law, policy and regulation, she is passionate about everyday stories that illustrate larger issues. She graduated from a master's program at Northwestern University in 2023 and became a guest blogger on the "Speaking of Phenomenal" podcast blog in March 2024.