“Here's to change, both sharp and sweet.” Jack Perez on mindful, happy aging

It was three in the morning, and Jack was writing poetry in her closet. Her son had left for college, her sister had moved to the opposite coast, and she had recently experienced a painful friendship breakup. 

Writing for healing

Already a consistent writer focused on the midlife experience for women (under the umbrella of Jack Smack), she decided that that first poem would be the first in a series of 30 pieces. She desperately needed something different to focus on. She would write one poem a day. 

Metamorphosis in Stanzas by Jacqueline Perez

What Jack didn’t know at the time was that those poems would eventually become a book, Metamorphosis in Stanzas. The collection, which included QR codes allowing readers to listen to Jack (an actress by training) reading each piece, became another of her initiatives to help women navigate challenges like body changes, caring for elderly parents and dealing with empty nests. She is also the founder of Kuel Life, a digital platform dedicated to normalizing female aging.

“No more the hunger for perfection's plea, but a fuller, truer love of me,” she declared to host Amy Boyle during her second appearance in the Speaking of Phenomenal Podcast. 

Season 1 E 06

A reptilian brain

One of Jack’s main efforts in life is to “change the channel,” “change the conversation” when negative thoughts want to take over. “My brain, my reptilian brain, like all of ours, loves to find all the reasons that bad stuff's going to happen to me,” she shared. And she feels truly victorious whenever she manages to shift gears and “take the wins” when she can. 

“If you've changed a bad thought to a positive thought while you're doing the dishes, holy cow, have a party,” she told Amy. “Do you know how hard that is to do?”

Progress or perfection?

Jack’s work as a writer, speaker and entrepreneur focuses on pro-aging, but her overall message of positive agency applies to all life stages. As Amy put it, we should all be “bold enough to try new things,” remembering that “progress is better than perfection.” 

Earlier today, while I was doing my lunch dishes, I realized how easily my mind fabricates negative thoughts, fears, resentments. And how these thoughts are decisive in how I approach my tasks: presence or lack of enthusiasm, curiosity and joy.

Have you ever tried to pay attention to those things? We would love to hear from you.

Soaking in change (from the Metamorphosis in Stanzas collection):

A seeker born with heart untamed, I chase the new, the unclaimed, each moment fresh, a fleeting breeze that gently shapes with subtle ease. Most pass like whispers, soft and light, a touch, a taste, then out of sight.

But some, like shadows long remain, a tender scar, a trace of pain. Yet there I stood with soapy hands in a new space where change commands. Upper west side with weathered charm, I smiled, embraced the soothing calm.

For there, mid suds, the world seemed clear, the past dissolved, no longer near. I felt the pull of life anew each time I travel, I break through. The ease with which I blend and start to build again to mend my heart. Each place I go, the world rewrites, and joy returns with softened light. 

So here's to change, both sharp and sweet, to every path, to every street. For even when the marks run deep, new worlds will wake me from my sleep.

Do life changes make you uneasy? Want to learn more about the physical, emotional and psychological aspects of aging? You can find Jack here. 

Carolina Baldin is a freelance journalist from Brazil. Having worked in law, policy and regulation, she is passionate about everyday stories that illustrate larger issues. She graduated from a master's program at Northwestern University in 2023 and became a guest blogger on the "Speaking of Phenomenal" podcast blog in March 2024.