Dana Hirt had been teaching children for a while when she realized that, to help them more effectively, she had to change the course of her career.
“To really change the system, you have to get to the people who are in charge of the system,” she told host Amy Boyle in the latest episode of the Speaking of Phenomenal podcast. “And the people in charge of the system are the grownups.”
Dana has been a parent coach for over a decade. She and Amy talked about how to be a more intentional and less reactive parent, the benefits of changing one’s mind when something isn’t working, the importance of family time and setting boundaries with technology and why parents should beware of the “comparison game.”
Dana reminds listeners that every kid is different and explains that, in order to parent one or more children, people should know what their core values are. Like safety and health, for example. She explained that having those values clear helps parents make simple and complicated decisions with more confidence and be mindful of each child’s needs.
“If we have the core values understood, then it allows us to pivot more easily because we're not reinventing the wheel. We understand what we care about and then we're just adapting it to the reality of the child in front of us.”
One of those values can be family time, which is constantly threatened by technology in many homes. For Dana, being able to set boundaries with phones and computers is crucial to transmitting the family-time value to the kids and teaching them how to regulate their use of those devices.
“We need to be able to put our phones down,” Dana told Amy. “If we start with ourselves, it will also remind us of how good it feels to not be doing that.”
On self-care, Dana encourages all parents to make sure they are “strong and resilient and ready for the storms that lie ahead.” In other words, “we cannot take care of our children at the expense of ourselves.” Also, children learn to take care of themselves by watching their parents' example.
For those who are or want to become parents: Do you know what your core values are? What kind of child do you want to see when they turn 18? Are you ready to make your well-being a priority even in the middle of a hectic routine?
Carolina Baldin is a freelance journalist from Brazil. Having worked in law, policy and regulation, she is passionate about everyday stories that illustrate larger issues. She graduated from a master's program at Northwestern University in 2023 and became a guest blogger on the "Speaking of Phenomenal" podcast blog in March 2024.
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